I [am learning to] put my hope in the One.
Last year was a great year. I learned what it really means to have a relationship with Jesus. I learned how to lean on Him each step of the way. I learned what true intimacy felt like…It was awesome.
Great thing #2: I have been blessed with an incredible man. Sebastian is wonderful and he is more than I deserve.
But here’s the problem. No matter how much Sebastian may love me, he will never know my heart the way that my Jesus does. He just can’t. He isn’t a mind reader. He can’t heal my heart. He is certainly not the creator of the universe. He’s a person. And while I know all that, when I’m broken, I turn to him. He’s tangible. He is physically in front of my face and so I look for him long before I ever look to Jesus for the solution. Not only that, but I expect an equally great answer from him!
I set us both up for failure by placing unfair expectations on him and leaving myself frustrated and broken.
…praying that God changes my heart and helps me to seek Him first. Maybe then that poor boy can have a chance against my unruly emotions. :)
